I believe. Help me with my doubts!

From Linda...

Many of you know that I am a “practicing” Christian. I emphasize the word “practicing” because I am in no way perfect…no Christian is so don’t let them tell you otherwise! As a practicing Christian, I have many beliefs…a belief in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. A belief in the power of prayer. A belief that Rebekah is a gift from God. A belief that our adoption of Rebekah will work out. So if I believe all of these things then why do I sometimes feel afraid and have doubts?

In Mark chapter 9 verses 17-24, Jesus is talking with a man who has asked Jesus to heal his son. The man says, "If you can do anything, do it. Have a heart and help us!" (Translation from "The Message" by Eugene Peterson). Jesus replies, "If? There are no 'ifs' among believers. Anything can happen." To this the man says to Jesus, "Then I believe. Help me with my doubts!"

Going through the process of "foster-to-adopt", I can wholeheartedly relate to what this man is saying! I believe yet I need help with my doubts. Thankfully, every so often God gives me confirmation that things will work out and that I don’t need to doubt. Two such confirmations happened recently…

On 4/10 I was driving to the latest “dependency” hearing. (In a nutshell, there will be many “dependency” hearings regarding Rebekah and her birth parents. Eventually Rebekah’s birth parents will either follow through with court-ordered services such as parenting classes (and much, much more) and be reunified with Rebekah or, their parental rights will be terminated, allowing us to adopt Rebekah.) On my way to the hearing I was thinking about all of the “details” and had a lot of doubts and “what-if’s” swirling around in my head. A car then changed lanes and was now in front of my car. A bumper sticker on the back of the car read, “Believe God. He will work out all the details.” Surely that was God helping me with my doubts!

On 4/15 I met with a dear friend of mine who is very wise. We talked about the situation regarding Rebekah and at the end of our conversation I told her, “I’m going to take it one day at a time.” Later that SAME DAY, I had a phone call with a client and he was asking me how things are going. I filled him in on the latest happenings and his exact words to me were, “It sounds like this is a ‘one day at a time’ situation." Now many of you may not think of that as “confirmation” but as for me, I BELIEVE! And the good news is that God won’t hold it against me when I have doubts.

Praise God!