Keep those prayers coming!

Hi everyone,

We had our first visit from the social worker last night. Due to confidentiality reasons we can't disclose alot of information but knowing that a social worker is involved, I'm sure you can read between the lines. The bottom line is that Rebekah's short-term placement with us is guaranteed yet her long-term placement with us is not. We were told last night that her birth-father is showing interest in custody. While we knew in our minds this was a possibility, hearing the words was a blow to our hearts. Once the social worker left, Mark and I talked about it and cried about it and resolved to move ahead no matter what. No matter what happens in the end Rebekah will be "ours to love" if not "ours to keep." But keep those prayers coming so she might be ours to keep. And also keep in mind that if things don't work out with Rebekah's adoption we are free to adopt another child. In other words, we have more than one opportunity. It is Rebekah that has only ONE opportunity to be with US. So please pray for Rebekah more than you pray for us. We will work through any grief if we have to suffer a great loss. It is Rebekah who might suffer a loss far greater than our own.

Ok, enough of the hard news and onto the good news...

Rebekah is doing really well and the doctor said she might be able to come home this weekend or early next week! Mark and I are still in overdrive as we are juggling work, hospital visits, and house preparation. We have Rebekah's room ready for the most part but still need to go "register" for things she'll need. I'll be able to cut back on work (thanks to my 2 fabulous employees!!) and Mark will take some paternity time off.

I had my first bout of motherly instinct and anxiety last night. Due to the social worker's visit we got to the hospital later than normal so we missed Rebekah's 8:30PM feeding. Normally she eats and goes right back to sleep but last night she was still awake (in her bassinet) when we arrived @ 9PM. It was great to see her awake and we loved being able to make eye contact with her while talking and singing to her. After a while Rebekah started "rooting" and I knew this meant she was still hungry. I asked the nurse if Rebekah could have more to eat but she gently informed me that Rebekah was on a 3-hour feeding schedule and all we could do was "pacify" her. At first I thought the 3-hour feeding schedule was to accomodate the nurses and their busy schedule but then found out it is "protocol" for babies that are being partially bottle fed/partially tube fed. Even though I understood the reason behind the protocol it was still difficult to hold Rebekah knowing she was hungry and not being able to take care of her need. My anxiety grew as I watched the clock (which is like watching water boil!) and I could hardly stand it by 11PM. Thankfully the next 1/2 hour seemed to go more quickly and we were finally able to give her a bottle...only to have her fall asleep half way through then need to be tube fed! Uugh! :-) We can't wait for her to be home so she can eat on her own schedule. (Famous last words!)

Thanks again to everyone for your continued interest and support. Thanks also for your comments on the blog. It looks like Rebekah is developing quite a fan club! We hope to have her in our lives for a long time so we can tell her all about our wonderful friends and family and how much everyone loves her.

Blessings!
Linda