Never held a baby longer than 3 minutes

From Mark...

I've never considered myself a "baby" guy. Babies make me nervous. And they seem so fragile. The longest I've ever held a baby has to be less than 3 minutes. But as I walk into the hospital to meet Rebekah I am not the least bit nervous. When I lay my eyes on her I feel calm...and HAPPY! Can I actually be a calm, happy father? I have often thought of new parents as being frantic and tense. I sit next to Linda as she feeds Rebekah and, without hesitation, I want to hold her. Once I take her in my arms I am relaxed...and for the first time ever....I don't want to hand the baby back.

Love at First Sight

From Linda...

My thoughts raced as I made my way to the hospital. Will they really let me see her? What will she look like? Can I hold her? Will she like me? All of these questions and more were answered when I finally arrived and was escorted to 2 South. First came the "technicalities"...proving who I was, scrubbing up, hearing the "rules" about visiting hours and special needs regarding "premies". Then came the moment of truth....they walked me to Rebekah's room and I was able to see her for the first time. I can honestly tell you that it was love at first sight.

Rebekah was just waking up for her 11:30 AM feeding. Because she is a "premie" (born at 33 weeks vs. 40) Rebekah does not yet have the stamina to bottle feed every three hours. Instead, the hospital alternates between bottle feeding and tube feeding. This particular feeding was the tube feeding so I simply got to hold her and stare. She is so beautiful! How on earth were we blessed with such a beautiful baby? I desperately wanted Mark to be there but timing isn't always what you expect so I simply focused on the bonding between Rebekah and I.

What does that even mean?

From Mark...

As I am driving south from Seattle towards Oregon for a two-day business trip, I am keenly aware that my wife is at a court hearing to find out more information about a potential adoption. Believing that the adoption system in Washington State is at best a slow burning gauntlet of bureaucracy, I am certain that we are taking the first of ten thousand steps toward being actual adoptine parents. What I clearly have failed to grasp is that, in spite of the fact that we have been hopelessy inefficient in making our adoption plans happen (going on 5 years now), the court not only will accept that we are a viable option, but has just cleared the way for us to literally take Rebekah home once she is released from the hospital. As Linda tells me that the court has "approved us", I blurt out..."what does that even mean?"

Apology and Congratulations!

Dayna quickly apologized because she forgot about me! Like I said, they are OVERWORKED! She then quickly congratulated me because Mark and I were named "suitable persons". Oh my gosh!!! Now what??? "Now you can go visit the baby in the hospital", Dayna said. It was all so surreal!!!

I was so torn...do I go visit Rebekah NOW, by myself, or do I WAIT until tomorrow to visit her with Mark. The answer was clear....GO NOW! I called Mark to be sure he was ok with that and of course he was. So off to the hospital I went.

The Court Hearing

1/28/09

I arrived at the Courthouse by 8:30 AM and met Dayna. Then the waiting game began. I sat in the waiting room that was filled with more people than you can imagine...picture the Dept. of Motor Vehicles waiting room times 3! I forgot to bring a book or anything else entertaining so I searched the waiting room for anything I could read. All that was available were National Geographic magazines and children's books. I've been known to pass "waiting room" time reading National Geographic but my mind was in such overdrive that I was really hoping for something more "simple" like People or Oprah magazines. No such luck so I tried to read about adventures in Morrocco but soon gave up and resorted to the children's book "Mamma Cat has Three Kittens". It was a good read but much too short. LOL!

Over an hour later I heard them call "our" case over the loudspeaker. I waited for Dayna to come and get me but she didn't appear. I figured she had to go into the courtroom first for any "confidential" stuff then she would get me. About 10 LONG minutes later Dayna walked toward me with both an apologetic look and a big grin. What on earth could that mean?

She actually ANSWERED the phone!

We all know that social workers are underpaid and overworked. When calling Dayna I fully expected to leave a message and perhaps hear back in a few days. Imagine my surprise when she ANSWERED the phone! My next thought was, "She's going to laugh me right to the back of the line". See, Mark and I don't even have our home study started let alone have a Foster Care license. So imagine my next surprise when Dayna explained a new DSHS ruling regarding "Suitable Persons". Basically, a judge could grant us custody pending a background check and home visit. Still in disbelief I asked, "But how long does a background check take?" "One hour" was Dayna's reply! "When would we have our home visit" was my next question. "Sometime next week" was Dayna's reply. I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

Dayna then told me that the first court hearing was scheduled for Wednesday 1/28 (the very next day!!). Dayna said Mark and I could attend the court hearing but we weren't required to. The court hearing would determine if we could be named "suitable persons" pending the background check and home visit. OF COURSE we would attend that hearing! But wait! Mark was scheduled to be in Oregon for the next two days working. It was up to ME to start this process on my own. Like a woman who goes into premature labor when her husband is out of town, I had no choice...the process is happening with our without him. Ok Linda, breath!

The unexpected email...

1/27/2009

It was an ordinary day. I had a client training phone call scheduled for 11:30 AM. At 11:25 AM I got an unexpected email from Melissa, a gal who used to work for me from time to time. I hadn't worked with Melissa in about 2 years and only heard from her occaisionally so getting her email was a nice surprise. Here is an excerpt from her email:

Hello Linda, LONG TIME NO TALK… but this came up… it’s a long story and I don’t know your situation right now at all. But this is a friend of my mom’s… her daughter had a baby last week and they are looking to have her adopted. I know you and Mark were looking into that at one time and like I said, I have no idea what your situation is like now… but when I read this, I instantly thought of you! So, please let me know if this is something you are interested in… and I can put you in touch with Jann.

I was in complete SHOCK when I read the email. After the initial shock, I immediately emailed my client letting them know our training phone call would be delayed a bit. I then called Melissa for more information. Through a series of phone calls and emails I was given contact information for Dayna, the social worker in charge of the case. My next phone call would be to her....